Astralis and Falcons are two sides of the same coin

If being an asshole were a monetizable skill, they would actually be able to turn a profit every now and then.

Finding new ways to suck

Where to even start with this latest clusterfuck? The whole BLAST substitution thing has already overshadowed the mere fact of the cadiaN pickup, which already warrants some serious criticism and exploration. After all, just what kind of a teambuilding process can make you reunite a stabbing victim with the two perpetrators and expect things to go alright?

I understand: desperation is a heck of drug. While dev1ce’s IGL stint was not as bad as it initially seemed it might be, it’s clearly not what’s required to turn Astralis into championship contenders again. And there was no way the org was willing to write down its seven-figure investment in the main riflers of their domestic rivals, whose squad they spectacularly (and scummily) combusted along the way.

Why they’d decide to go back to the same poisoned well, to pick up the player whose squad they sabotaged, shortly after he had a disastrous stint on Liquid, with role characteristics that clash with their star player… it’s just baffling.

You can’t even call it teabagging on Heroic’s corpse because it’s not like either team has managed to reach the heady heights of the HLTV top #15. It’s corpse-on-corpse action at best. Again, why?

Does this move (and the last Fall Finals event) really warrant this level of shenanigans?

Going down with br0vid

Cliff’s Notes version: Astralis really, really wanted to field their new and shiny player at the BLAST Fall Finals, so they reportedly concocted a fake medical emergency for br0, the latest young Danish player on the chopping block for the squad, so that they can apply for an emergency substitute long after all relevant deadlines have passed.

Problem is, br0 seems to be just fine, cadiaN was on Liquid’s books not so long ago, and BLAST seems to be making a rather star-shaped exception to their own rules to facilitate this mess. Cue bedlam.

Astralis, and their parent organization, RFRSH, have a long and storied history of bastardry, and their incestuous relationship with BLAST is well-documented, so we might as well leave that side of things in better-reporting hands. For current events, it’s the heartening display of loyalty and support from the players and captains, who seem to understand for once that just lying down and taking it from a greasy TO is not the way to go to keep the embers of competitive integrity alive in the Counter-Strike scene.

To highlight, “The results at Blast Fall Finals have a significant impact on the RMR Rankings, as well as a significant impact on the teams that are currently fighting for crucial points to qualify for Blast World Finals,” which is why Astralis should be forced to field their coach like how Heroic and G2 were forced to earlier in the year, and that “the exploitation of mental health or physical health issues as a means to justify the allowance of an emergency substitute” should not ever be accepted as the norm, something Astralis, unfortunately, have a history with, as has yet another character they poached from Heroic: HUNDEN.

Remember him?

Two sides of the same coin

Speaking of coaches, I’ve got zonic on my mind, along with the rest of this scattered Danish core. It’s not just because of the personnel overlap, but more and more, it feels to me as if Astralis and Falcons were two sides of the same coin, of the identical malign influence on the sporting scene.

A blatant disregard for the rules and norms of esports? Check. Blatant and unfair ownership entanglements? Check. Waving around massive wads of cash to break teams and players so they can get what they want? Check. It was a bunch of VC bros in the previous era; now it’s the Saudis.

At least we now have a scene-wide and fairly clear-cut reason to dislike the bunch. Maybe it’s worth adapting the Falcons memes for Astralis, too?